expectations and disappointments

I have been married for almost nineteen years and have forgotten what it is like to put great expectations for my happiness upon my husband until a recent conversation with a much younger woman.

She had placed her hopes on her husband and a certain situation: needless to say, she found herself disappointed and hurt. It brought back to me a time of those same feelings in dealing with my relationship with my dear husband.

I could only share with her what I had learned: that being, I had placed a great burden upon my husband by making him responsible for my happiness. There is no way that my husband had the power not to disappoint me no matter how hard he tried or what good intensions he had.

You see God gave us men who like ourselves are flesh and blood. They are obviously likely to be given to errors as well as come up against somethings that are out of their control. I am not saying to just not expect anything from your husband. Every wife has the right to expect respect, faithfulness and love as does every husband.

What I am talking about is the happiness and contentment that comes from life and the joy of knowing that well placed expectations will be met. There is only One Who can handle that huge responsibility and that is Jesus alone.

I have learned that when I have placed my hopes for happiness in Christ, I am not disappointed. In Him, I have opportunities to grow and expand who I am. I began to see my husband as he was, not who I thought he should be or I wanted him to be.
By accepting him, I learned new things about him and why he felt about things the way he did. I also noticed, because I eased the burden of expectations I had for him, he began to do the same for me. We began to enjoy each others company and encourage each other in situations. It opened doors for communication and forgiveness

It also gave me the opportunity to be surprised by my husband's true kindness and affection. It gave me the freedom to show my true affection in my love language to him. We both have benefited from this revelation and as time goes by we love each other even more.

I remind myself with an old hymn,"My hopes are built on nothing less than Jesus....."